warehouse abstract

Current projects fit in the space how?

First major build out would be a "wall of windows", surrounding the music studio. This is a cheap way to get studio quality soundproofing. We can also insulate a first wall with blue jeans, or both walls. We can rig a pulley system that reconfigures the room so the bandspace is the open center.

Fake storefront entrance? -- Can we play w/portable subdivisions? Is this getting a little convoluted.

What would bring in money? Counseling--------->(wtf, Jon?) Psychologists would be present to interact with no preconceived notion of structured hierarchy. How this relates is a little obtuse.

BRAF--I have to believe that their revolutionary premise interpreting a "decolonization aspect" through their diversity clause in their mission statement makes them okay. Extending this to the Bayview Boom festival, we can provide more access to the public with a non-profit or education designation. A community would benefit as a vocational aspect is provided. In a horizontal integration we can supplement places that are doing metal work, etc. Connections to neighbors in skilled trades is the center of this.

List of hypothetical projects

1. band rehearsal/music studio
2. community workspace w/ set hours
3. subdivided art space (though this has been done, what makes this different?"
4. Gallery/cafe space
5. Theater
6. Co-op/hostel
Beyond the potential fun for this property, what sort of professional front/business plan can we put together and execute?

Theory of Fluid Space--the living situation changes depending on what type of projects are happening.

1. Reverse Everything--project becomes living space center-these are compressed and fluid.

2. Dedicated Areas are Anchored (yet may be portable)
a. kitchen
b. bathrooms
c. shared comfort zone, communal, where our friends are free to stay.
d. band room
e. stage
f. Deitch-inspired skate bowl installation

Essentially, it doesn't have to be dogmatic with an overly-complex mission statement. The progressive thing would be making a decentralized zone aware of the specifics of each project whether artistic, spiritual, hedonistic or civic in nature. Essentially it's a playhouse, where artistic work ethic, community and joy are the center. We're attempting to further our careers in a multi-disciplinary time.

Observing other spaces

a. SummitSF would be more successful if it escaped the subdivisions. There is an air of seriousness inside from space users that the patrons are not privy to, thus the weight and lack of customer interaction. (pretentious)

b. Ritual Valencia has is anchored by a huge box surrounded by pseudo-scientific coffee-making devices. Glaring waste of space and somewhat formulaic.

c. Philz, Folsom and 24th--Fluid Space!! So fucking old school. Middle Eastern practicality that has grown as the business has grown. It's organic without trying too hard. the product is good and the atmosphere is homie instead of staged.

Black Rock Arts Foundation Letter of Intent

Low estimate: $8500, considering price of car, insurance, registration, smog, fees for registration as "tour bus" among other requirements for street legality, even outside of materials, stipend for contributing artists and ideal final version of the car.

My computer crashed right at the deadline for this. Such a bummer. Sought solace in scanning old half-done sketches.

Studio 13

A. Physical presence and theme

This art car is a direct jab at realty greed. San Francisco lacks space for musicians to rehearse, especially if they can’t afford to pay for space. SF is one of the most expensive places to live, so the local scene lacks diversity compared to other places. Inspired by my virgin Playa adventure in 2011, the Studio 13 double-decker art car will be used by over half a dozen local bands ranging from rappers, djs and turntablists, to hardcore and pop-punkers.

The name Studio 13 is in honor of the rehearsal space at Tommy Guerrero's Audiobox Studios that housed the Freshkimos, Golda Supernova, Slashton, and Ghosts and Strings for over a year, a prolific time before the two lessees could no longer afford the rent. Aside from dedicated rehearsal space, goals for Studio 13 include: 1. Helping local music/education foundations. 2. Coordinating with activist communities to provide big audio for hedonistic and political actions. 3. Creating a live talk show, Manafrio radio. Local activists and journalists will be free to hold panels, interviews and give speeches.

When there are no scheduled speakers and no band is using the car, the public can still hold a conversation. 4. Bringing the Playa spirit to the S.F. streets by offering free rides to revelers at night, from the Mission to Potrero and throughout SoMa. This cuts down on drunk drivers and offers a magical experience for passengers.

B. Physical Presence, Frequency of Exhibition and Relation to BRAF theme of "Interactivity"

The heart of Studio 13 is a converted bus or van. The exterior will have swirling, wavy metal and fiberglass work inspired by the ocean and interlaced with mostly found or secondhand mirrors and possibly a few old televisions wired with closed-circuit cameras. This composes the “Sea of Vanity”. I may look to Flux Foundation for help with the body work. The second level of the art car is a wooden boat inspired by Southeast Asian “outrigger” boats from Indonesia or the Philippines whose design and construction would passed on to CCA masters student Peter L'labbe.

Both components will be joined by a spiral staircase at the rear of the vehicle. Cushioned benches will line the boat’s perimeter with two forward facing benches and room for a coffin DJ booth at the bow of the boat, though the merits of having the booth at the port side (the sidewalk side) may rearrange things a bit. Handrails and moorings will surround Studio 13 with a space for a pole in the middle that will serve as a mast for tarps or a parachute. The boat may also have outriggers to give it the genuine aesthetic of the aforementioned while serving double duty as a bike rack and weather shelter that may or may not rise up for driving.

Inside, we can maintain the upholstery that doesn’t impede storage/transportation of the audio system and its mobile components. Now, the dream scenario would be new electronic systems with amps and a huge amount of wattage and whatnot all plugged into an interface with modern electronic amenities, but at present I’m looking at this project from a minimalist perspective. There must be room to keep the 8 x 10 Ampeg bass cab and the tiny 12-channel portable PA system with its two monitors that I already have. If we can keep the interior intact, all the better, as it’d be nice to if the van could hold as many passengers as possible. At a minimum all we need to buy is a generator and rewire the stock speakers and radio to make the system integrated.

As far as when this project appears, it seems contingent on weather and our own weather proofing, and law-enforcement and legality. The option of rehearsing on a warm fall day by the zoo and ocean is a Bacchanalian dream, just as providing a public forum for political discourse in San Francisco, while exciting in its own merits, is scary. Also, the idea of having art car frequency increase in San Francisco brings up questions of whether it takes away from experience on the Playa.

While my lesson from Burning Man was that there is no such thing as a default world and that we should strive for magic and transformative experience as frequently as possible, some diehards might beg to differ. And though I feel that BM has started to change the world (I didn’t know that those burn barrels at Ocean Beach were paid for by BRAF! I grew up surfing down there!) in a sort of unconscious way (really, how much is Occupy Wall Street possible without decades of people not questioning the merits of camping out in a treacherous desert for art, music and burning stuff’s sake), I’m not one to assume that this project can be overtly political on its face (though I just read the BRAF mission statement!). Anyway, given the opportunity to bring this project to fruition, I would personally see to it that its potential as a transformative, community-oriented vehicle, bringing music and audio to the world would be everywhere in this city that it’s needed.

And since that mission statement is fresh in my mind, I will state that I’ve become increasingly enamored with the Occupy Movement and its potential for change. If my involvement increases from ivory tower/facebook activist to front line, I would use this project much in the same way I would on the playa: it’d be shared in all the ways my delusions would provide me.

That being said, I feel like there is an aesthetic/frequency of appearance ratio that has a somewhat fine line. The more frequent Studio 13 appears the less gaudy and more professional and subtle it should be, especially considering that audio is the central impact of the project. But that in-itself is debatable.

C. Fit with BRAF Mission Statement, Civics and Community

Studio 13 fits the BRAF mission most directly in the vein of community. It's primary and founding purpose (1) as a portable rehearsal space is a direct reaction to a lack of resource for a community of musicians, many of whom grew up in the Filipino-activist community in SoMa. The first gigs for Slashton, for instance, were in annual festivals like Pistahan and Asian-American talent competitions. After the original Studio 13 became too expensive to maintain, Slashton, along with Freshkimos and some other bands became inactive.

The dynamic of this community of musicians serving SoMa, as many of the musicians worked with youth groups like United Playaz and Loco Bloco, changed, with less concerts and promotion, putting music on the backburner for many folks who'd just learned the first lessons of what goes into live music. This put added pressure to re-open Bindlestiff Studio on Sixth and Howard, so there would be a place for theater productions or even jam sessions and parties.

This is just one facet of the potential for community involvement with the Studio 13 art car project. This describes the relationship of community art to the "Institutional Hierarchy" that has everything to do with positions in the monetary scale. Another aspect of this is (2) the potential to work with youth in SoMa who would never have an opportunity to play on a professional bass amp or drum set anywhere, much less any spot in the Bay Area that could logistically be reached by the art car, the beach, Treasure Island, an open pier on the Embarcadero. Golda Supernova, an activist, poet and singer, has been working as an artist since she was a teenager. She and her husband, Wern, who played bass for Slashton, now have children who are following in their parents footsteps picking up the guitar, getting comfortable with the spotlight of performing. Having studied journalism at City College at the beginning of the decade, I was introduced to activism at an interesting time--2000 till 2005--when my first stint as editor of The Guardsman newspaper coincided with a time of unprecedented upheaval--I'd never seen so many pissed off people decrying the patriotism and reactionary politics.

I was swept into it, learned the power of print and research, and burnt out after we invaded Iraq. But the time is right. (3) I've been imagining a live-talk show for over three years now, but had to wait for music to stall and be left in a strange limbo with an excess of musical equipment (It felt like the Lord of the Rings with amps instead of rings!), run into a group of crazy people who'd multiplied since my surfer friends returned from the desert in 2000 hell-bent on renting water trucks for some "Mirage" something or other, buying white suits when we were in Indonesia for what sounded like a cult, wondering what was going on with all of the bikes with PA systems during Critical Masses that looked so fun from my lonely window working at Harvest Market, and finally getting dragged to some weird Potrero Hill address in late October when I was more concerned with the Giants in the Playoffs and Jimi James' amazing full moon party in Pacifica.

I was just like these people and my crazy ideas were encouraged instead of dismissed. I'd found something that I never wanted to stop. And I didn’t care that my buddy painted over the stuff I’d worked on down the stage from the Mermen and the crazy lady offered $500, because I’d never been so happy. I guess this last rant could cover my last bullet point (4) the importance of hedonistic action to balance all the civics, something Joseph Campbell would understand and make archetypes out of.

Caveat on Manafrio radio

Just to clarify, point 3 is an artistic concept that I've been pondering for a while now: the question posed is this: What happens when an every day dialogue between people, two or more, is broadcast on a powered P.A. system in a public place like Dolores Park or Justin Herman Plaza. If the parties are uninhibited in their expression and empathetic in listening and using their highest potential--through past education, current spiritual paradigm and personal barriers of trust, abuse, memory, etc.--is not the conversation heard just as profound, insightful and transforming as any educated, power-based, hierarchical or canonical discussion or panel? I've been curious about this for years. Though this doesn't take away the importance of the aforementioned "expertise" I feel that this experiment could reveal a lot and the Studio 13 project could easily suit both the personal and the expert-based discussion. This is civic, interactive and community-oriented.

Black Rock Arts Proposal 1 of 2

Studio 13 Portable Rehearsal Space

This art car aims at realty greed. There is a lack of spaces for SF musicians to rehearse, especially if they're working hard to ends meet. SF is one of the most expensive places to live, so the local scene lacks diversity compared to other places. Inspired by my virgin Playa adventure in 2011, the Studio 13 art car will be used by over half a dozen local bands ranging from hip-hop, dj-ing and turntablism, to hardcore and pop-punk bands among others. The name Studio 13 is in honor of the rehearsal space at Tommy Guerrero's Audiobox Studios that housed the Freshkimos, Golda Supernova, Slashton, Ghosts and Strings, among others, for over a year, a prolific time for all the bands before the two leasees could no longer afford the rent.

Aside from dedicated rehearsal space, the goals for the art car include:

1. Helping local music/education foundations.

2. Coordinating with activists communities like #OccupySF, S.F. Bike Coalition, Sunday Streets and Bindlestiff Studios to provide portable audio for hedonistic and political actions.

3. Creating a public talk show, Manafrio radio, coordinated with internet broadcast capabilities through fccfree radio and ustream.com. Local activists and journalists will be free to hold panels, interviews and give speeches. When no scheduled speakers are available and no band is using the car, people in public will be allowed to use the microphones to hold a conversation.

4. Bringing the Playa spirit to the S.F. streets by offering free rides to S.F. revelers at night, circling from the Mission to Potrero and through SoMa. This will cut down on drunk drivers and offer a magical experience for passengers. Hopefully this will spur other people with art cars to do the same.

Aesthetic

The joyful pilot art car of Studio 13 is a converted van outfitted with dozens of mirrors within a metal frame. The mirrors, "The Sea of Vanity", creates an everchanging dance of color and reflective light while masking "the guts" of the car--a plug-in portable rehearsal space! The second level of the car is a wooden boat crafted by CCA masters student Peter L'abbe and inspired by outrigger construction of Southeast Asian boats (with removable outriggers), which will be adjoined by a spiral staircase and surrounded by a safety bar with perimeter benches, and cushions.

Our hope is that the voyage of Studio 13 helps bands who've been unable to rehearse and inspires the next generation of musicians through visits with our art car. Our intention is to be on a regular schedule with those involved in music education, help local bands rehearse and provide audio for a wide-range of purposes and activities in San Francisco.

Regular Stops

Dolores Park
Justin Herman Plaza
Powell St.
Sloat and Great Hwy.
Haight St. food truck outpost
Noe St. Farmers Market

I first learned of the Enclosure Movement in England in a renaissance literature class at S.F. State. Though the professor's droning reading of his own papers brought yawns and prevented my full attention, this idea of the beginning of fences and borders that would lead to Manifest Destiny in the Americas stuck with me. When Orwell speaks of Oceania in the digest section of 1984 he includes the Americas, the British Isles and parts of Western Europe.

I have no claim to expertise in what went into the movement and online sources are slim. One short definition in thefreedictionary.com summarizes:

"Division or consolidation of communal lands in Western Europe into the carefully delineated and individually owned farm plots of modern times. Before enclosure, farmland was under the control of individual cultivators only during the growing season; after harvest and before the next growing season, the land was used by the community for the grazing of livestock and other purposes. In England the movement for enclosure began in the 12th century and proceeded rapidly from 1450 to 1640; the process was virtually complete by the end of the 19th century. In the rest of Europe, enclosure made little progress until the 19th century. Common rights over arable land have now been largely eliminated."

Four centuries since the time of Shakespeare, it seems we've reached another milepost at the end of industrial revolution. It's become clear that as civilized animals who have technology, we may have gone as far as we can in "manifesting destiny". Postwar suburban sprawl has proven itself as unsustainable if abandoned towns and bankrupt city governments are any indication and Orwell's 1984 is prophetic. His claim of the State controlling the populace with armed police and control over resources--limiting access to food, shelter, etc. depending on your place within the caste sytem--would be seen as "paranoid" and "crazy" if not for events that have occurred over the last few years.

Naomi Klein's viral article "The Truth About the Crackdown on the Occupy Movement" from the Guardian U.K. lays out in clear terms that Occupy's "dissent"--a term which ironically fits of a movement who many claim to have no message or demand--is not welcome in our current climate of governmental shakeup. Klein writes, "The picture darkened still further when Wonkette and Washingtonsblog.com reported that the Mayor of Oakland acknowledged that the Department of Homeland Security had participated in an 18-city mayor conference call advising mayors on "how to suppress" Occupy protests."

The Department of Homeland Security defines centralized policing and security. Folks who would dispute that will also be not-so-politely asked to remove their shoes when traveling freely by airplane, a humiliating new reminder of control for Nietzsche's beasts (Genealogy of Morals).

Anyway, please excuse the pretentious exercise of reference and paraphrase. I will continually rewrite this essay (second day) till it is streamlined and informative.

The aesthetic argument of OWS is the most telling because it rejects : people are outside camping. This is a rejection of the status quo and in the bigger picture, the enclosure movement that has marked Oceanic culture since the invention of the printing press.

Find joy always, first and foremost, apart from bottom line. Outside of this simple physical/aesthetic decision, the matrix of words and politics must be objectified. You are not a number or a commodity. You are spirit incarnate. You must scramble and redefine what they are giving us, bending the matrix like an artist (Nietzsche said the artist is the one who changes the symbols). Everything must start over: university, spirituality, exchange of goods. There must be a hermetic seal with full awareness of how the power center operates at its borders. An organization like Burning Man is fully aware of its transcendent nature and maintains a relationship with law enforcement, thus, citizens of the temporary Black Rock City are more insulated from oppression than they are at an event like Love Evolution.

In a sense, we return to tribalism and natural law in our physical lives. As strange as it feels, we exist tribally--communicating physically--more than we realize. In our modernity, we've numbed ourselves to this fact. You are grumpy with a courageous soft heart. It's not going to be easy because we have to learn trust. I love you with all my heart. You are the children of the revolution.

Morning in Davao

Now the mysterious familiarity of the now-defunct Surf Maniac Camp is explainable. In 2000 there was an internal clock of comfort that went off when we entered the traditionally built, three story building crawling with ants and geckos, the skinny, crazy-eyed owner offering coffee and massages that felt like death pinches, the highest point on the hill above Uluwatu. I'm now the non-tagalog speaking gnomon at the circle gathered around the bottles of beer. My cousin keeps offering me smokes and I cut myself off at two. Bicycles with sidecars and umbrellas pass in front of the neighbors, who've set up a pink tent over the barbecue that sits streetside with the backlight of fluorescent lights.

There's an equilibrium, as if the failure of western economies and infrastructure is just theatre, a flawed tragedy that has nothing to do with how we're really supposed to live and interact with each other. The child at the end of 100 Years of Solitude, dead and crawling with ants, has another meaning now. There's still time. In my ignorance I didn't know why they were calling Marquez's book as important as the bible till this family reunion.

Don't know how women withstand the mental stimulation of so many winks, pokes and inane messages online: facebook, okcupid, twitter. Locked to a keyboard, no fear of carpal tunnel, we're jailed. Bank of America now has bullet proof glass surrounding their tellers. Whole Foods has computer monitors giving numbers of the next available cashier in a snaking airport security line, doors safely surrounded by glass partitions. The underlying theme of these designs is maximizing safety, controlling interaction with the public. It's unclear whether we feel the cynicism behind these societal changes.

But it begs the question: are we already trapped in the system? and how guilty am I for my own winks, pokes and inane messages online?

bye bye

Fuck it. Yeah, I don't need to be doing this anymore. I'm too exposed when typing my life into a desperate news real over the internet. Invitations occur regardless of the pool of life that is scrambling and swirling our minds and feelings. The past floats in and out of my life, a constant reminder of triumphs and failures. My good friend Nathan did it first. And now I have in a sense freed myself. It's melting my mind. Just put the computer back to its correct place as a tool. I'm about to lose my mind. I'm wondering if this technology has something to do with it. I haven't felt normal for the last two years and I've been on facebook for about two. It's time. Countdown to reality. Dive back in...

Decompression

He dropped down from the rock-and-roll floater, tail two feet below the nose of his board, hands at 12 and 6 o'clock, feet cross body, front knee to back elbow for the recoil from the drop. Andy Irons taildrop body english was etched in my mind. I could hear Perry Ferrell covering the Stones in that last great ...lost video, Lost at Sea, "Please allow me to introduce myself..." Just a bunch of friends who ripped and lived life to its fullest.

That's what I imagined before the sun set, October 10th, 10-10-10, paint brush in my hand, negative space shadows of figures in the barrel, airs, mist blowing out the back of the waves, painting before a crowd of strange, energized people, on one of two pieces of plywood my friend and I worked on from noon to midnight, under the freeway in San Francisco. I drew Andy right over a barrel like it was that same wave at Lance's.

The Mermen jammed out electronic fuzz and high octane 64th note delays, surf guitars on acid, and I was dressed like Hunter S. Thompson painting on chocolate covered mushrooms...it felt like my scene. Billy Shatner had run off into the crowd after his muse, down by the sculptures, closer to the techno. I'd paint for an hour, feigning some kind of structuralism, overly intellectual, cryptic lazy scrawls, some homage to Jean-Michel Basquiat, "Don't ever be sad", "I have a strange anthropomorphic bent", then Shatner would come back, the wild-eyed, dialated Aquarian, absorbing drama from his girl's intense feminism and paint fluorescent green over my shadow figures and waves I worked so hard on, Pollock splashes with the paint water, hand washes over psychedelic pastoral moment I imagined, gone forever. "He's so subtle," I heard earlier. The hippy girl in the half-vest snuck up behind me at one point and shot video, so subtly I didn't have time to think about her--curly brown locks, caramel skin--a moment of synchronicity, then she was gone.

I'm painting surf scenes stage left while the Mermen plug everyone into the air. Vanity strikes: First wave stood on, 1987, Lindamar Beach; surf, punk rock third wave, Mission gentrification opens the door to masses with tech money, bio, computer, hipsters in waves, 2000, the Albion becomes Delirium, 2007, Member's Only jackets, nylons and bicycles, Valencia looking like Sunset Blvd...live music, Frieda Kahlo parades on Dia De Los Muertos, playing a cello as a bass 23rd and Folsom, banging a floor tom with Ghost, 24th and Bryant, and the sun is setting, the Giants are about to win the penant, I had my first Giants hat when I was six. I was there--inside my head I'm screaming at Billy "SHE SAID SHE WOULD PAY $500!!!!! STOP PAINTING ON IT!!! WHY DID YOU PAINT OVER MY WAVES!!!!!"

I would wander off through the crowd for an hour while he painted, then we'd switch. Toward the end of the night he was quickly leaving for another world, his eyes the only thing to read. Hurt, worry...the muse is still open, his dad is still sick in the hospital...The sea is swirling, fluorescent, pagan, electric, tribal, weird shit is happening everywhere. They wanna look for more drugs. They're gonna wander down the block. The boys are young, talented, we're all friends. We're just looking to have a good time, she says. The look says, don't take her away. Don't take him either, not now.

I remember this, I swear. We're all in this together. Let's have another drink. Smoke a J. Furry hats and jackets, topless girls with face paint. None of that matters. That lady wasn't gonna buy the painting anyway. The money doesn't matter. We'll probably never see her again. It's not about the money. She was drunk off her ass...Let's get this shit done. Let's get you home. Yeah, I can drive. She's already there...

It all washed away. The moment was eternal, maximum. The sun set like a wave crashing. Two weeks later a parachute drew fire by the sea, in the rain, under a full moon. The Giants won the World Series on Dia De Los Muertos in Texas. Andy Irons died that same night in Dallas. Everything was different after that. I don't know how, but it was. The gates had opened. Now, sometimes I just don't wanna go to sleep...

So...

The coincidences led me forward. Yes, in a hippy-mystical way like James Redfield's book, "The Celestine Prophecy"...synchronicity leads you forward in a moment of indecision when you don't know what direction you're life should go. The higher power in whatever form shows you signs that you just need to be ready for, awake, alert, conscious: you've been thinking about going to Mexico and suddenly a commercial comes on TV to visit the Yucatan or you overhear a conversation where someone just got back from Cabo. You wonder whether you should study biology and your friend asks you if you want to go to the zoo.

But let me get rid of any vanity of being destined for something, even if it could be true. I've been drifting because I'm lazy, not because of a dizzying encounter with a chasm in my life. Yes, I do believe in the void, but it's ruined many a moment where I should've just put my arms around a girl instead of dragging her to the edge as if she didn't know that the dark existed.

In the last six months, where my sanity has been in question, I had moments roaming around San Francisco, drunk, stoned, with a guitar occasionally, trying to figure out where to go. I worked at Whole Foods for five years up until last June. The work paid just enough to keep me from complaining, but not enough to really ever get ahead. My coworkers and I shared a sort of entitled bohemian existence where nights out drinking helped ignore the question of whether we or not we deserved better then working in a grocery store. It's easy to say "yes, of course. Fuck that, I know..." But this question is deeply political and sociological. What is this better life we deserve? The tech nerds are rich and they can afford to shop at a place like Whole Foods. Their occasional displays of class conscious arrogance are the bain of many a charming artist jockying a cash register when they want to ring up a case of twelve bottles of champaigne in the 8 items or less express lane. They can afford to go out whenever they want and numb their brains with alcohol and drugs much more frequently and with better taste then the struggling Joe.

I don't know. I cannot wrap my head around this comparison. But I can say that their materialism is not going to change the world. That's all. Some of my good friends genuinely want to change the world, even if it's just their own.

In any event, there was synchronicity, strange conversations about the collective unconscious, characters that seemed out of the movies, so strange, sharp and genuine that I believed what they said. Some checked out online. Others I'll have to wait and see if they show up again.

forgot something

spit it out mr. schizophrenic. That the west was divied up, it's dangerous. On the fringe I tell myself it's not from the outset. Despite odd coincidences that the competition among muses fell to a certain few. Different levels of existence. Coke was the opposite of weed. Hyperdrive. I'm bored, I have to go do something. Versus nothing is ever a mistake, but it's still a lesson, an idea, that you have to develop.

This is frantic

But if you hey I had a great time last night. I don't meet girls like you that often. There's a thesus statement and something to expand on. Fuck it though.

This is boring

--------------------------------------------

before you left I freaked out. I wanted to drive out over the bridge to say "by." There was no reason not to, but you explore the ones that are sudden impulses like lighting bolts...I'm a prisoner, there's no use because it be better ifs and why ruin a good thing right? I know we'll come together again. ...and it's on a weird delay. The world with her was different. We're both able to find magic in the world but our language out of pragmatism and idealized delusions of grandeur shakes to the left where I'm pondering the ocean from the sand.

Drink beer in public as many times as possible. Have rational fears of catching something. Stay on the edge between roof leaping and holding someone for a lil bit. I shook when it was quiet. Tried to find the right music. silence the void.

People are stirring, shouting numbers in desperation
So I read the little note by chance